


This Means War

by FBGM



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Confession, Fighting, Light Angst, M/M, Marianas Trench - Freeform, Song fic, This Means War - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-29
Updated: 2019-06-29
Packaged: 2020-05-30 20:38:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19410955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FBGM/pseuds/FBGM
Summary: Jared runs into Evan while he's home from college





	This Means War

**_So nice to see you here,_ **

**_impolite would only be beneath us._ **

Jared froze. He nearly dropped the carton of ice cream he was holding. Evan Hansen. Here, in _Jared’s_ grocery store. Okay, so he didn’t own the store but still. He thought about shoving the ice cream onto a random shelf and just leaving. But he wasn’t that much of a dick, he respected retail workers. Besides, he refused to let Evan win. He was mature and over it. Running away was beneath him. So, he took a deep breath and walked down the aisle.

“Hey.”

Evan turned and his eyes went as wide as dinner plates. “Hi… Jared.” He squeaked.

It was at this point that Jared realized he had absolutely no plan. “Um, what’s up?”

“Oh, just getting groceries for dinner.” Evan glanced at his hands where he was struggling to balance a package of pasta, a can of spaghetti sauce, and a loaf of bread. Jared figured Evan went in with the idea that he didn’t need a cart and then once he realized he did, he was too anxious to go back to the front to get one.

“Cool.” Jared was extremely uncomfortable and still a tiny bit angry, but some part of him was glad that Evan hadn’t just ignored him. Or dropped everything and sprinted out of the store.

“Yeah.” Evan nodded. “Ice cream?”

“Yep.”

**_It’s been what, half a year?_ **

**_Like nothing ever happened here between us._ **

Jared didn’t apologize. Maybe he should’ve. Maybe if he did then Evan would too. But he didn’t. He just stood there, smiling, and made small talk with Evan like absolutely nothing was wrong.

“Hey um,” Evan was practically vibrating with the urge to tug on his shirt. “It’s been a while. You wanna get lunch or something tomorrow?”

No. Jared did not want to ‘get lunch or something’ with Evan. He wanted Evan to apologize. He didn’t want to pretend everything was fine now. He didn’t want to pretend that they were, or ever had been, the type of friends to just ‘get lunch or something’ on a whim. He didn’t know why he said yes.

“Sure. Come by my house? One o’clock?” He asked.

Evan nodded. “Sounds great. Well, uh, I should get home. See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah. See you.” Jared watched him make his way to the register.

**_Fill me in on how you’ve been_ **

**_and I will tell you anything you’d like to hear now._ **

Evan hadn’t been in Jared’s house for ages. He hadn’t been there since before Jared’s mom had decided to repaint the kitchen. He hadn’t been there since before they had to replace the window after some kid threw a rock through it.

“So.” Evan sat down on the couch. That was still the same. The same couch they watched movies on and built forts around when they were little. Jared sat a few feet away from him. “How have you been?”

“Okay.” Jared didn’t know why he invited Evan here. “You?”

“Good.” Evan tapped his foot. “I got a job at pottery barn. So, if you need any home décor or anything… I can get you a friends and family discount.”

“I think I’m good for now.” Jared laughed slightly despite his extreme discomfort. “I already bought all my dorm stuff.”

“Oh yeah. You’re in college huh?”

“Yep.” Jared nodded. “Tech school.” He rambled a bit about the programs and the campus, just to have something to say. Evan nodded along eagerly, like he actually gave a damn about the size of the computer lab or the menu of Jared’s favorite restaurant on campus.

**_We can laugh some, reminisce some,_ **

**_from the same old stories to some new ones._ **

Evan’s eyes wandered to the wall.

“I can’t believe you still have that.” He pointed to a frame above Jared’s head.

Jared twisted around to look at it. It was a painting he and Evan had done when they were in elementary school. It was mostly blobs and lines but there was a certain collection of markings that Evan had always sworn was meant to be a dog.

“Yeah. My mom loves it.” Jared shook his head. “She thinks it’s adorable.”

“I remember making it.” Evan smiled. “We got paint everywhere. They shouldn’t have given seven-year-olds free range of the paint.”

“Yeah.” Jared smirked. “Although you made just as much of a mess in art class sophomore year of high school.”

To Jared’s surprise, Evan didn’t turn into a blushing stuttering mess. Instead, he laughed and shook his head.

“Good point.”

The comfortable feeling that had been seeping into Jared’s stomach was washed away. Jared wasn’t sure who was sitting on his couch but it wasn’t Evan. He didn’t feel like Evan.

They talked a little more about old memories, careful to dance around the events of their senior year. Never daring to bring it up. Not when things were going so well. Well, they _were_ until Evan ruined it.

“I talked to Zoe.” He said after the laughter from the last childhood story had died down.

“Oh?” Jared raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah. A few weeks ago. It was um, it was hard but good, I think. I apologized and well, we were civil at least.”

Jared felt anger bubble up in his stomach but he pushed it down. “That’s great Evan.”

**_And when the night’s done_ **

**_I will just see you around._ **

Nothing was going to change, Jared realized. This one day wasn’t going to fix their friendship. A few old stories weren’t going to make Jared any less mad or Evan any less uncomfortable. After this, they’d go back to their lives. They probably wouldn’t even speak again until they accidentally saw each other in a store who knows how long from now.

Maybe that’s why Jared started it.

**_But that’s not what I came for my amour._ **

**_I hate to admit it but I miss the war._ **

“So therapy seems to be helping.”

Evan blinked, surprised at the sudden change in topic. “Uh, I guess. Why do you say that?”

“You don’t stutter as much.” Jared shrugged. “I don’t have to wait twenty minutes for you to get a sentence out anymore.”

Evan started tugging at his shirt. Jared felt a sick sense of satisfaction. Good. Anything was better than the fake polite Evan who thought Jared’s school’s array of fountains was an interesting topic. Even nervous anxious Evan would have told Jared to shut up about that.

“Oh, uh, yeah.” Evan nodded. “I’ve been working through a lot it’s really helpful.”

“Good.” Jared smirked. “So you won’t be pretending to be friends with anymore dead people?”

“That was your-!” Evan started to yell but he stopped himself and took a deep breath instead. “No. I won’t.” He said calmly, even smiling a little.

And Jared hated him.

**_Gotta get you under fire quick,_ **

**_brace for it._ **

He could feel Evan pulling away. Jared had pushed too much, he wanted to run. Maybe that was Jared’s cue to lay off. But Jared was never good at pulling people close, so he pushed harder. He finally spit it out, before he lost his chance.

“So how come Zoe got an apology and I didn’t?” If anything would set Evan off that would.

Except it didn’t.

“Jared,” Evan started harshly. Then, he heaved a sigh. “I am sorry. For everything I did and for not telling you sooner.”

“What? I just wasn’t good enough for an apology?” Jared rolled his eyes.

“Honestly,” Evan shrugged. “I didn’t think you’d care if I apologized or not.”

He was so calm. There was no emotion. It made Jared even angrier.

**_I’d rather be a riot than indifferent._ **

“So you didn’t even try huh?” Jared pushed harder. He wanted Evan to cry, or yell at him, or storm out. Something. _Anything_. Anything but this serene politeness.

“You blocked my number.” Evan pointed out. “I thought that was a clear indicator that you wanted nothing to do with me.”

“And you were fine with that?” Jared scoffed. “I mean, all those years of friendship meant nothing to you?”

Every muscle in Evan’s body tensed. Finally, Jared had broken him.

He stood up.

“ _Friendship_?”

**_Oh, don’t you know?_ **

**_This means war._ **

“Is that what you call it?” Evan seethed. “Because for me it was bullying, downright _abuse_! I mean jesus Jared you made me feel worthless _all the time_!”

Jared was starting to regret opening his mouth but Evan was nowhere near done evidently. He stood up, towering over Jared who didn’t get up to meet him.

“You were the only person in the world I could rely on and you told me you were forced to spend time with me because of your fucking car insurance! All because you can’t communicate or handle emotions because you’re so scared of being left alone! Do you ever think maybe people leave you because you push them away and you’re a terrible friend!?” Evan screamed. “But you expect me to cherish those years of ‘friendship’?”

**_I’m calm, I’m sure of it._ **

**_I don’t shake because I’m never even rattled._ **

Jared didn’t move. He regarded Evan. It hurt, more than it should have. More than he expected it to. More than he’d ever admit.

“You’re not gonna say anything?” Evan spit.

“What _can_ I say?” Jared shrugged. “You’re right. You read me like a book.”

Evan’s fists were clenched and his face was red from yelling.

“So,” Jared says simply because he has nothing to say and less to lose. “Your mom said you’re gonna go to that art school in California.”

**_It’s a good school I’ve heard of it._ **

**_You wanna move away, surrender from the battle._ **

“I- yeah.” And, surprising both of them equally, Evan sat back down.

“Good school.” Jared hummed. “Pretty far away.”

“Yeah.” Evan repeated. “Well, I kinda wanted a fresh start you know? I wanted to leave all of this behind.”

“All of it?”

“Yeah. I don’t have anything here worth remembering, except my mom but, she’s thinking about moving somewhere else anyway.”

Jared nodded again. “Gonna reinvent yourself or something Hansen?”

And Evan actually laughed. “Maybe. Who knows?”

**_I just wish you’d open fire on me_ **

**_so I can see you still worry if I care._ **

Their roles seemed to have switched the longer they talked. After Evan’s confrontation, Jared shut down. He decided maybe fake polite was the way to go. Evan on the other hand, couldn’t seem to find his fake polite mask after Jared had dragged his feelings out. His face displayed every emotion and Jared could tell he was getting annoyed now with Jared’s sudden closed off demeanor.

“You’re really not going to say anything about me yelling at you?”

“Nope.” Jared popped the p. “Why would I?”

**_And we can laugh some,_ **

Evan laughed then. It was sort of scary. His eyes were filled with anger. If looks could kill…

**_Reminisce some,_ **

“You’re exactly the same, aren’t you? You never cared about me.” Evan stood up again. “Why did you even invite me here? Just to drag up old shit and make me feel bad?”

“No.” Jared shook his head, standing up too. All of the sudden he really didn’t want Evan to leave. “Why would I do that?”

**_From the same old stories to the new ones._ **

“Because that’s all you ever do!” Evan screamed. “You just make me feel like shit all the time! And nothing’s changed!” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

**_And when the night’s done_ **

**_you’ll just see me around._ **

“I’ll see you around Jared.” He walked out of the room.

**_But that’s not what I came for, my amour._ **

Jared grabbed Evan’s arm and tugged him back. Before he could think better of it, he stepped forward and kissed him.

Evan stared at him with wide eyes when he pulled away.

**_I hate to admit it but I miss the war._ **

He started stammering and blushing, unable to get a coherent sentence out.

Jared smiled. There was the Evan he knew. That was his Evan.

**_Gotta get you under fire quick,_ **

**_brace for it._ **

“WHAT THE HELL JARED!” Evan finally yelled.

Uh oh, Jared’s smile dropped.

“YOU TREAT ME LIKE SHIT FOR YEARS, DON’T TALK TO ME FOR MONTHS THEN YOU INVITE ME OVER, BERATE ME FOR THE PAST AND THEN ACT LIKE YOU DON’T CARE AND THEN YOU KISS ME?” Evan gestured wildly with his hands. “THAT’S NOT- YOU CAN’T _DO_ THAT JARED!” He looked like he was on the verge of tears.

Jared sighed and dropped onto the couch. He patted the spot beside him and, shocking everyone in the room for the second time that day, Evan sat down.

**_I’d rather be a riot than indifferent._ **

“You were right.” Jared didn’t look Evan in the eyes. Couldn’t. “Everything you said was right. I was a dick to you because I was too afraid of my own feelings. I was afraid you’d leave me so I pushed you away first. So when we weren’t friends, it was on my terms. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have treated you like that. It was my fault and it was cruel and I feel horrible.”

“You…” Evan trailed off.

“Are an asshole.” Jared finished for him. “I know.”

“You kissed me.”

“Oh.” Jared wasn’t expecting that. “Well, yeah.”

Evan stared at him. Jared forced himself to meet his eyes.

“Why?”

**_Fire in the hole, fire in the hole._ **

“Uh, well it wasn’t my platonic feelings that I was afraid of dude.”

“Are you saying you… like me?” Evan frowned. Jared was amazed he said it so confidently.

“Yeah. I’m saying I like you.” Jared dropped his gaze again. “Since like freshman year.”

**_Oh, don’t you know?_ **

**_This means war._ **

Evan stared at him. There was a dangerous silence. Jared braced himself. He was sure that Evan was going to punch him.

Then, Evan was grabbing the front of Jared’s shirt and kissing him. He was angry, Jared could tell, but he was kissing him. And Jared was helpless to do anything but kiss him back just as hard.

**Author's Note:**

> I've never done a song fic before but this song is just so them and since I can't draw this happened lmao  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Follow/talk to me on tumblr @ michaelmellonn


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